It would appear that the U.S. capitol is suffering from something we could call “Trumpcolic”. The symptoms are painful and exhibit a continuous flow of wind from the intestines and bowel movements. The smell alone can be dreadful. This malady has affected Republicans on the Hill in particular, leaving them scurrying about in search of some medicinal relief, especially since praying has not offered any comfort. While the cause of this epidemic is known, there appears to be no clear remedy at this time. It’s difficult to treat since the symptoms are never consistent and change almost on a daily basis. Indeed, the cure may be almost as bad as the disease itself.
Explanations keep emerging from the White House, but frequently are contradictory in nature. Given its almost daily instability, providing a clear prognosis has become increasingly difficult. What is worst, the health of an entire nation is at stake! American and foreign experts have thrown up their arms in frustration. They have seen many a period of incontinence in the past, but nothing like this.
There are already signs that this disease has spread beyond the capitol’s boundaries. The Democrats are pushing to find a cure in the fall, while the Republicans are struggling to contain any further outbreak. A sense of dread can be felt in all four corners of the country. Many Americans have taken to searching out some form of immunization to protect themselves from this scourge. Others remain convinced that the disease is fake and simply a fabrication of the established media.
Never in the history of the country have so many been challenged by such an outbreak. Despite expert opinion, no one appears to know who is to be believed anymore. Even more important, Trumpcolic has now spread to other countries. This has forced these countries to ally themselves in order to prevent a world-wide epidemic. However, it may be too late because the symptoms have begun to appear in Italy, Germany, Austria, and Eastern Europe. Unfortunately, the stench is becoming that much stronger.
FROLITICKS 