C/O Trump Tower, New York, N.Y., LOL999XOXO
Dear Precedent Trump:
Hi. Big fan here! I think that you are doing a tremendous job. I don’t read or watch the fake news media which are always totally negative and the enemy of the American people according to your left-hand man Steve Bannon. Instead, I rely on Brietbart and Fox News which gives us the real insight and alternative facts. As for all those nasty terrorists, I fully support your ban on Moslums wanting to travel to our wonderful country and do harm. These are bad dudes and need to be stopped. Don’t let a bunch of supposed judges stop you.
As for your tweets, please keep them coming. I find them so informative and precedential. It’s important to get information right from the horse’s mouth. Don’t let those late night TV shows discourage you, because they’re only concerned about ratings. The American people need to know firsthand what you’re thinking, just like when you were on the ‘Apprentice’.
As for the Washington establishment, keep giving them the boot. Keep the campaign going. Most good Republicans will continue to back you no matter what. There are a lot of government agencies that we could do without, like the Environmental Protection Agency, the Labor Department and the Occupational Safety and Health Agency. They just get in the way of businesses wanting to create good paying American jobs. Chinese businesses don’t have to put up with all those environmental and health and safety regs. Oops, that reminds me to fix my made-in-China glasses.
I am fully supportive of enlarging our brave armed forces, especially our ability to nuke other countries. It’s not enough that we already outspend Russia and China for defense by double and triple the amounts. Good for you telling those so-called NATO partners to contribute more to their own defenses. They’re all a bunch of loafers. Besides, Russians love you and Putin is really the nicest guy. Nevertheless, it’s always good to have those nukes in your back pocket, just in case.
As for the planned wall with Mexico, I’m going to adorn it with good old American graffiti. If you need more bodies to patrol the border, I know a few fellows who would be more than happy to help out. They’ll even bring their military-grade rifles and equipment. Know what I mean?
Precedent Trump, keep up the terrific work. As we saw from the election, there are millions and millions of Americans behind you, given that you won the popular vote. Keep on tweeting.
Sincerely, a fan.
FROLITICKS 